Why Elope? Why NOT Elope!
Money, Time, Stress...
How long have you been planning that wedding? How much work have you put into it? How much money have you put into it? Just how stresssed out are you right now?
When I meet a couple about their wedding ceremony, I get to know them pretty well. After a visit or two, I can start to see the strain in the bride's eyes. Visiting florists, coordinating bridesmaids' dresses, cake-tastings, photographers, wedding planners, dealing with caterers and musicians... I've seen a few girls in tears. I remember one bride so upset over decorations (something no one at all noticed, the room looked spectacular to me) that when she arrived at the altar, she was grinding her teeth and shooting eyeball daggers at everyone. It made for an uncomfortable ceremony, and she looked horrible in her pictures. (Thank God for Photoshop.)
I have met so many couples who are stressed to their wits' end, and so many more going into debt beyond their income, to pay for and "put on" a big wedding. This is ridiculous. I find it hard to believe that people want to start out their lives together with a $50,000 debt hanging over their heads, on top of college loans, car loans, credit cards, and perhaps even mortgages.
It's time to stop and catch your breath. Relax. Have some sweet tea. Let's rethink this wedding thing.
Why are you doing this? Who is this all for, anyway? Is it for you? Is it REALLY? Has it always been your dream to have a big wedding, with all your friends, distant relatives you never see, your father's employees, coworkers you don't even know if you like, everyone in your church parrish... Is that what you wanted?
If not, then stop the madness. Consider what's important. What is your dream? Is is really this dog-and-pony show? Do you really want to entertain all of these people? Possibly watch them get drunk, as you and your new husband get the bum's rush from one place to another by a photographer? Your dinner may be cold by the time you sit down to eat it. Want to taste that cake? You may never get more than that first mouthful. Those first dances are mostly for pictures. You will spend half of your day posing for formal shots. You will be exhausted and you will remember nothing.
However, if it is your dream to marry the one you love in a beautiful, romantic setting, in which you can look into each other's eyes, say those incredible magical words, and smile at each other at that moment when the minister declares that you are finally husband and wife... Afterwords, enjoy a romantic dinner for two, or perhaps a horse and buggy ride, or dancing, or... whatever it is you dream of doing... You can have this dream. You can make it happen. And your memories will be with you for a lifetime.
How? How can you do this? How can you create a beautiful, memorable day for yourself? How can you do it, and save money? I tell you that you can take all that money that you were about to spend, that $20k or $50k and pay off your school loans or car loans or even put the money down on a new home... And you can do it by having a simple, beautiful, elegant wedding ceremony.
Yes, you can elope. You can elope for a few hundred dollars, or a few thousand dollars, and save a fortune, have a lovely romantic time, come home married with beautiful pictures and memories and your sanity intact. Are you willing to do that?
But what about the dress in your dream? What about the beautiful dress and that veil you wanted?
What about those rings? You wanted to walk down the aisle! Won't eloping cheat you (and your dad) out of that?
You can have the dress, the veil, the rings. He can have the tux (much to his chagrine, when you said, elopement, he probably thought, "Jeans!"). You can have the walk down the aisle. It takes a little planning (significantly less than a big wedding), but it can be done. (New Covenant Weddings can help.) Your dad probably won't mind, since you're saving him $25k by eloping.
Elopements are incredibly romantic. Even if you settle for the courthouse for your ceremony (a New Covenant Weddings Bride would NEVER!!), you can still have a memorable, tasteful ceremony, if you use your imagination and get a little creative.
If you want to be married at a location OTHER than a courthouse, like a lake or the beach, an inn, a hotel, the aquarium, or a horse-drawn carriage (yes, I've done this!), an independent wedding officiant or minister (like MOI!) can accommodate you very well. With a wide price range, from $99 and up, we can perform your ceremony in our location (our lake-side park is beautiful, and free from travel charges), or at the venue of your choosing. (New Covenant Weddings offers unlimited choices when it comes to your venue. We will not, however, jump out of an airplane for you. Sorry.)
When it comes time to have your ceremony, you will find yourselves alone with your wedding officiant, in an intimate setting, often with the sound of water flowing in the background, or soft music, or waves and seagulls, or whatever you have chosen. What's most important is that you are focused on each other, and not on the gown, the flowers, the caterer, and the three-hundred people surrounding you. You can focus on the words you are saying to each other, which are the most important words you will ever say to another human being: you are making your covenant to each other before God.
After your ceremony, your options are limitless. In downtown Charleston, you can take a private horse and carriage ride. (Palmetto Carriage Works.) You can dine at any one of hundreds of fabulous restaurants. (We recommend Robert's to everyone.) You can take a ghost tour. You can visit the Provost Dungeon or a historical home. There are so many interesting places to go here, you can easily spend 3 or 4 days here without breaking your budget, and have a wonderful mini-honeymoon.
I have recommended this type of elopement to hundreds of people, and those who have followed my advice have agreed that this is the most stress-free wedding they could have imagined; their ceremony was beautiful and unique; and they were able to spend their day they way they chose to, instead of according to the direction of a wedding planner or photographer. They have chosen, instead, to live their dream.
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